Category Archives: Lady GaGa

Watch with my Mother’s Mother: Lady Gaga

If 3mins30secs were a dog or a child it we would have been reported to some kind of charity or help group by now, such has been the neglect. For nearly a MONTH we haven’t bothered to update anything. Not even a cursory video just thrown up with barely any thought, or some ‘amusing’ thing about how Britney‘s new album is gold-standard amazing. We’re sorry. We’ve been busy doing bits here and indeed bits there and we’ve neglected our roots. We’re like Taio Cruz or Jay Sean, blinded by the big lights of America and forgetting our UK ‘urban’ roots. Anyways, here’s the only good thing about this site now, my Nan talking about the Lady Gaga video for ‘Born This Way’. Yep, the video that came out about three weeks ago and has now been watched about 22 million times. Oh well. What Nan has to say is much better then nearly everything we’ve read about it, so that’s something.

 

[Laughs] I thought it was “gaga”. I mean the births and things, it was so raw. When it first started it was like a science fiction film, with the music and everything. I thought, ‘whenever is she going to start singing’ you know. I’ve never seen one of her videos before. I mean I’ve heard her but never seen a video. I thought her singing was great, she’s got a good voice but she does remind me of a young Cher. The sound of her voice. If you shut your eyes and you listen to Cher or knew Cher when she was a lot younger, she’s got that same voice.

You can hear the similarities with Madonna in the song, yes. But then a lot of them are like that aren’t they? It’s respectful though. I don’t think she was ripping her off do you? I think Madonna goes on forever doesn’t she? She keeps re-booting herself.

It was all amazing, I was just wondering what was coming next. She was obviously representing good and then evil and the birth of evil. That bit was really graphic. Where she sort of, with the, erm, the ‘bad one’ she sort of tears apart, I was a bit, well, you know. There wasn’t a lot left to the imagination. But I did think it was a very “gaga” video and I did quite like the song. I haven’t got anything against that at all.

It becomes a quite straight forward dance video as it goes on though. It’s not as crazy. It became a big boring. There wasn’t really much content after a while. I suppose they have to be able to play it on TV. I loved that skeleton man. Are they real tattoos? Are they really? Good Lord. I thought that bit made the video more interesting. The bit with just the heads was fun too and that costume she had on in that bit was a bit odd wasn’t it? Just covering her bits.

I wouldn’t find her actually sexy. She’s lacking curves and things, she’s got a boy’s frame, quite athletic. She’s got a very boyish figure. But then some people might find that sexy, I don’t know. I don’t think the idea of it was to make her seem sexy really.

It went on a bit. I think you could take some of that out and not change anything. She’s a bit like that though, it’s all OTT. She does a lot to shock or at least try to. It means it’s more interesting. It’s not ever boring.

The writhing about with the women bit was a bit obvious. Not quite sure why that bit was in there. The spikey face bit was weird too. I hope it doesn’t catch on. But generally she’s a good thing for pop, why not? She’s weird but in a lovely way, not an annoying way.

Grandad didn’t watch it. I think he thought it was a bit ‘way out’.

Song: 8

Video: 8 (It was so amazing. You just didn’t know what was coming next)

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Born To Do It

In 2011, it will not be enough for big, proper pop stars to simply announce a single release date and then, you know, release the song. No, we will need twitpics from the video shoot, teasers about lyrics, talk of the second single before the first has even finished it’s chart lifespan. Perfumes will need to be created, video cast-lists will need to be leaked and the hype machine will need to strain so loudly under the social network meltdown that the music is barely audible.

Lady Gaga has a new single coming out in February and it’s called ‘Born This Way’. She will debut the single at the Grammys and it will then be available to download instantly. Today she released the lyrics to the single, an event which lead to #bornthisway trending worldwide. Ridiculous? Yes. A good thing? Yes. It’s all about bringing pop music back to the level of an event, to make it something to be passionate about and not just Pixie Lott meekly announcing some tie-in with a deodorant company.

Here are the lyrics (we’re assuming they sound a little less trite with a stadium-sized synth riff fired up underneath):

INTRO:
It doesn’t matter if you love him, or capital H-I-M
Just put your paws up
’cause you were Born This Way, Baby

VERSE:
MY MAMA TOLD ME WHEN I WAS YOUNG
WE ARE ALL BORN SUPERSTARS

SHE ROLLED MY HAIR AND PUT MY LIPSTICK ON
IN THE GLASS OF HER BOUDOIR

“THERE’S NOTHIN WRONG WITH LOVIN WHO YOU ARE”
SHE SAID, “‘CAUSE HE MADE YOU PERFECT, BABE”

“SO HOLD YOUR HEAD UP GIRL AND YOU’LL GO FAR,
LISTEN TO ME WHEN I SAY”

CHORUS:
I’M BEAUTIFUL IN MY WAY
‘CAUSE GOD MAKES NO MISTAKES
I’M ON THE RIGHT TRACK BABY
I WAS BORN THIS WAY

DON’T HIDE YOURSELF IN REGRET
JUST LOVE YOURSELF AND YOU’RE SET
I’M ON THE RIGHT TRACK BABY
I WAS BORN THIS WAY

POST-CHORUS:
OOO THERE AIN’T NO OTHER WAY
BABY I WAS BORN THIS WAY
BABY I WAS BORN THIS WAY
OOO THERE AIN’T NO OTHER WAY
BABY I WAS BORN-
I’M ON THE RIGHT TRACK BABY
I WAS BORN THIS WAY

DON’T BE A DRAG -JUST BE A QUEEN
DON’T BE A DRAG -JUST BE A QUEEN
DON’T BE A DRAG -JUST BE A QUEEN
DON’T BE!

VERSE:
GIVE YOURSELF PRUDENCE
AND LOVE YOUR FRIENDS
SUBWAY KID, REJOICE YOUR TRUTH

IN THE RELIGION OF THE INSECURE
I MUST BE MYSELF, RESPECT MY YOUTH

A DIFFERENT LOVER IS NOT A SIN
BELIEVE CAPITAL H-I-M (HEY HEY HEY)
I LOVE MY LIFE I LOVE THIS RECORD AND
MI AMORE VOLE FE YAH (LOVE NEEDS FAITH)

REPEAT CHORUS + POST-CHORUS

BRIDGE:

DON’T BE A DRAG, JUST BE A QUEEN
WHETHER YOU’RE BROKE OR EVERGREEN
YOU’RE BLACK, WHITE, BEIGE, CHOLA DESCENT
YOU’RE LEBANESE, YOU’RE ORIENT
WHETHER LIFE’S DISABILITIES
LEFT YOU OUTCAST, BULLIED, OR TEASED
REJOICE AND LOVE YOURSELF TODAY
‘CAUSE BABY YOU WERE BORN THIS WAY

NO MATTER GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BI,
LESBIAN, TRANSGENDERED LIFE
I’M ON THE RIGHT TRACK BABY
I WAS BORN TO SURVIVE
NO MATTER BLACK, WHITE OR BEIGE
CHOLA OR ORIENT MADE
I’M ON THE RIGHT TRACK BABY
I WAS BORN TO BE BRAVE

REPEAT CHORUS

OUTRO/REFRAIN:

I WAS BORN THIS WAY HEY!
I WAS BORN THIS WAY HEY!
I’M ON THE RIGHT TRACK BABY
I WAS BORN THIS WAY HEY!

I WAS BORN THIS WAY HEY!
I WAS BORN THIS WAY HEY!
I’M ON THE RIGHT TRACK BABY
I WAS BORN THIS WAY HEY!

Singers singing songs in 2011

Well hello there. Take a seat. Did you have a nice Christmas and new year break? Good. Yes, we did thank you. Got some slippers, some DVDs, a nice cardigan, some CDs and a food blender. I know, very lucky, yes. Shall we crack on with writing about music now that we’re in January and there’s very little else to do? OK, here goes…

So, everyone and their mother is scrambling about looking for the ‘next big thing’ and whilst we’re not opposed to this kind of thing at all (we love a good list and anything that gets people all hot and bothered is fine by us), it does lead to something resembling a backlash before any of these poor buggers have had chance to release any music. For example, we’re already bored to tears by Clare Maguire and not just because she seems – to us at least – to be nothing more than a slightly better dressed Sandi Thom. The Vaccines and Brother can run along because, frankly, we’re not sure it is time for a guitar band revival especially not just for the sake of it.

So, who do we like? Well, below is a short list of people we think will make some nice songs in 2011 and some of them aren’t even brand new. Frankly, we’re going to let people who made music in 2010, or maybe 2009, also continue to make good music in 2011. That’s how nice we are.

LADY GAGA

Born This Way should be the album that cements her Ladyship as the greatest pop star of the past decade and with a single coming out as soon as February there’s not much time to wait. Of course, she could balls it all up by diving a bit too far down the earnest piano-ballad route – that new song she played on tour recently was a). a bit dull and b). veeeerrrryyyy llooooonnnnnggg – but, let’s be honest, it’s going to be a pop masterclass from a woman who hasn’t just learned to be a superstar, she’s re-written the manual, put her face on the cover and then repackaged it with a bonus book of extra chapters more exhilarating than the original version.

COCKNBULLKID

Yep, the one that was meant to take 2009 by storm is back and she’s got a debut album (Adulthood) up her sleeves so chock full of melody it should come with a warning. WARNING: THIS ALBUM CONTAINS SO MANY BRILLIANTLY MELODIC SONGS IT MAY LEAD TO IMPOTENCE OR EAR CANCER. Gone – for the most part – is the electropop of old and in it’s place is a more traditional set-up that frames the songs perfectly, letting Anita Blay’s (for she is the cock in question) voice inject the character.

JAI PAUL

Jai Paul made a song in his bedroom in half an hour. He emailed said song to his brother who went nuts for it, demanded he email it to a blog and then probably placed bets on his sibling’s forthcoming debut album winning the Mercury Music prize. That track, ‘BTSTU’, is the kind of song that takes the fundamental rules of pop music – verse, chorus, verse, bridge, chorus, fade – and manipulates them into something simultaneously new yet completely familiar. It’s not alienating in a “ya, ya, it’s, like, really interesting and technically really proficient” kind of way, it’s just pop music with the limits removed. We were lucky enough to interview him for Dazed magazine recently and as part of that we heard three brand new songs and though our memory fails us when it comes to details, we can confirm that each one was spectacularly amazing.

SPARK

We don’t know too much about Spark other than that she’s a lady, she has black hair and red lips. Oh, and she makes the kind of ’90s-referencing pop songs that make us go from “huh, this is kind of shit” to “this is literally amazing” in the space of one song. That song is ‘Revolving’ and we like it a lot and sometimes that’s all it takes.

JAMES BLAKE

We saw James Blake recently in a pub. Not just having a drink, but actually playing a keyboard and singing and you know what, it was a good evening. It wasn’t some epoch-defining, you-should-have-been-there-oh-my-God-I-cried-at-the-beauty-of-it-all kind of gig, but the boy sure can sing and there’s a beautiful kind of patience about how he arranges songs. Chances are he’ll win the BBC Sound of 2011 thang and everyone will hate him come March, but from what we’ve heard, his debut album (due in Feb) should see him past the haterzzz.

BRITNEY SPEARS

So, she went a bit mad, released an amazing album, Blackout (seriously, regardless of your musical persuasion, please listen to it), got slightly better health-wise and then made Circus which was only 56% good. What can we learn from this? That mental illness makes pop better? Or that Britney really has no clue what she’s singing on until she gets to the studio and that the label dropped the ball? Either way, she’s got a new album on the horizon and ‘Hold It Against Me’, the first single, will premiere this Friday. Co-produced by Dr Luke and Max Martin an insider has said that the track is “infectious”, which is a bit like saying snow is cold or grass is green or Flo Rida has the emotional capacity of a lemon sorbet.

There are loads of others, but we’re tired and need to go and have some cereal before bed, so here’s a list of names of people we also think will do good things in 2011:

Mr Little Jeans

Alex Winston

MNDR

Chad Valley

Panda Bear

Adele

The Strokes

Outkast/Andre 3000

Bjork

Those Dancing Days

Theophilus London

No doubt Damon Albarn will release at least five albums, so that will be nice

Kelly Rowland’s new video’s a bit shit, huh?

Kelly Rowland, aka the one that’s not Beyoncé or, er, the third one from Destiny’s Child, has a new single out. As is de rigour these days, she’s enlisted the production skillz of David Guetta, who also helmed Kelis‘ ‘Acapella’ and will no doubt produce nearly every pop/R&B album this side of 2015. On a scale of Lady Gaga to N-Dubz, ‘Commander’ is a bit Mis-Teeq, i.e. it’s nearly there, but it’s a bit cheap sounding.

Perhaps Kelly’s ‘people’ thought the same thing as they’ve basically helped create one of the shabbiest looking music videos. For one, Rowland’s wearing what looks like a hacked version of that red PVC thing Britney wore a few years back, but with some Elizabeth Duke jewellery stapled on; there’s a guy at the beginning with talc in his hair (talc!?); the catwalk/crowd scenes are woeful and then it just cuts to a completely different video with Guetta gurning and twirling about like the hip old dance producer he is. It most definitely is NOT a video Beyoncé would make and we know she’s probably trying to distance herself from comparisons, but making a budget video that detracts from the song is not the way to do it.

Introducing…Chad Valley!

Sometimes when we’re trawling the internet looking for new musical prey, we get a bit dispirited by all the Q-endorsed indie bands and poor Lady Gaga impersonators. On other occasions we rejoice and give thanks to the blog Gods (pale, plaid shirts, mostly men) for throwing down morsels of musical goodness. One such example is Oxford’s Chad Valley, who we believe is the work of one man and that this man may be called Hugo Manuel and he may be in a band called Jonquil. Anyway, we’re not interested in backstory or what people look like (unless the backstory is interesting and they look good, and then we’re VERY interested), so let’s just deal with the music shall we?

Below is the really very good ‘Up And Down’, which unfurls slowly with the sound of waves lapping at a shore…no, wait, come back! This is chillwave with disco boots on, mixing heartfelt vocals (that remind us a bit of Tears For Fears‘ Roland whatshisname) with lovely swathes of keyboard and bubbling percussion. Can percussion bubble? Who cares.

PVC nuns, anyone?

Lady GaGa‘s ‘Alejandro’:

It starts well, then gets a bit boring, then the machine gun bra comes out and it’s all OK again.

New Music Monday

Last week was a bit of an odd one for us. We were aware that Musick (our old blog) was dying, and frankly we wanted to leave the room as it’s slowly decaying body spluttered and heaved its way towards the final curtain. Or something. In actuality, we were having a bad day and were feeling a bit lazy. Things weren’t helped by a general lack of good releases – hence the MC Hammer suggestion (which we stick to by the way) – but this week is a bumper edition as recompense. But first, let’s go through the motions and say that the Wild Nothing album didn’t get anywhere, neither did the Chapel Club single and frankly you’re lucky we’re even talking to you after the whole Kelis and Hurts double debacle. Let’s move on to pastures new, and 3mins30secs first New Music Monday (the ‘k’ had to go, obvs).

BUY THIS

The Drums by The Drums


Since they arrived on the music scene like some giant cheekbone, The Drums have ruffled many a feather by being a). Good looking and b). Having a handful of amazing songs. Their debut EP, Summertime, is very near perfection and though their sound isn’t original, there’s something undeniable about those seven songs. Their self-titled debut album stretches their fairly basic sound of highly strung guitar riffs, drum machines and Jonathan Pearce’s pained yelp to breaking point, but it still retains their amazing hit rate when it comes to brilliant choruses that bore into your brain.

BUY THIS TOO

Before Today by Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti

We reviewed this album for The Guardian last week. This has no baring on anything other than a neat way to show off. Before Today is a rather wonderful amalgam of early ’80s FM radio with ’70s stoner rock, spearheaded by Ariel Pink, a man who has made about a thousand albums and who looks like he’s not washed since 1991. This album is genuinely brilliant and that’s all we’re going to say on the matter.

CHERRY PICK THE BEST OF THIS

Bionic by Christina Aguilera


It’s odd to think that Christina Aguilera isn’t the biggest pop star in the world in 2010. She’s not even in the top 3. It’s weird because around the time of the Stripped album you’d have bet on her taking the mantle that Lady GaGa rudely snatched and wore as a bra, and even Britney returned from oblivion to be maneuvered around the stage long enough to have two US number 1 singles. And yet it’s Aguilera who seems to be having an identity crisis and the sales aren’t what they used to be (Not Myself Tonight, the album’s first single missed the UK top 10 and the US top 20). Bionic has some stellar collaborators – Switch, Sia, M.I.A, Santigold, Le Tigre, Ladytron, Cathy Dennis, Peaches, etc, etc – and yet the amazing tracks are either surrounded by generic R&B filler (yeah thanks Polow da Don, fuck off now, yeah) or dumped onto the bonus tracks bit of the special edition. Our advice? Get on wikipedia, work out who produced what and buy the best ones on iTunes.

DOWNLOAD THIS

‘Look What The Cat Dragged In’ by Giggs


We reviewed this single for The Guardian last week. This has no baring on anything other than a neat way to show off. (We’ll stop now). ‘Look What The Cat Dragged In’ features Giggs’ gruff rumble of a voice mixed with some brilliantly cheap sounding beats and a chorus that’s catchy without the need to be sung by a member of a girlband who were passed their prime 5 years ago. Huzzah Giggs, huzzah.

High tariff

There’s too much to say about this ‘music video’ (and we say that in the loosest terms seeing as it barely mentions the song and references nearly every film ever made), so we’re just going to let it speak for itself. This is ‘Telephone’ by Lady GaGa and Beyoncé:

One thing, however; we’re not sure those fag sunglasses are going to make it past the smoking ban.

The BRITS; best bits, shit bits

Passion(ate) Love Affair

Everyone and anyone is turning their hand at a Lady GaGa retwizzle (that sounds like a strange gymnastic sex act). Such is her dominance of the pop charts she’s clearly decided to take over every club in the Western hemisphere. This is Passion Pit‘s remix of new single, ‘Telephone’, which is hardly earth shattering and for some reason they’ve got rid of GaGa’s bits and just focused on Beyoncé‘s ‘rap’. We’re not complaining, we’re merely observing.

Then we have disco oddballs Hercules & Love Affair who’ve turned the worldwide number 1 smash (TM), ‘Bad Romance’, into a dubby, early-’90s last song at the techno club kind of affair.

Not your thing? It could be worse. Listening to Lady GaGa whilst a flock seagulls peck at your testicles* is preferable to his excruciating version, however.

Serious rock face.

(*Replace with ‘lady garden’ if you are a female)