Ladies and gentleman, let me introduce you to my Nan, Joy Herbert. This is she in the photo, clutching a goblet of wine on her last birthday (she’s 76-years-old). Every week, we’ll be giving my Nan a call to ask her what she thinks of the latest music videos. This isn’t some “oh look at the old person who hates modern music” finger-pointing exercise, because Joy genuinely loves pop (she owns albums by Will Young, Leona, Take That, Buble and her favourite, Enrique Iglesias). Rather, this is a way of getting a different perspective on things and generally bowing down at the greatness of my Nan’s wisdom (seriously, if you need advice on anything, she’s the person to call).
So, for the premiere of this epoch-defining brand new feature, we sent her ‘Drummer Boy’ by Alesha Dixon:
This is what she had to say:
The video? I thought it was really nice, I liked it. Very sexy. Quite raunchy actually. She’s, erm, her other one, had those sorts of movements and things and had a lot of that in it. This is the same sort of thing, more raunchy and sexy this one. It looks quite American. The beginning bit does definitely, where she says she wants a drummer boy, I thought that was a very American opening. I thought that was a bit “funny”, I’ve got down here on my notes [she made notes!!], “after a funny start it got better and better”. I didn’t like that. When it started and that came on I thought “ohhh, no”, but it got better. It was all quite obvious but then I think it was supposed to be. I think she was just being herself, you know, she is very sexy sort of looking and dancing and the whole song is about…sex. It was all fairly obvious, all that banging of tambourines. I think some people can be provocative and she took it off alright and it’s not seedy, it’s just inviting to men.
I like the song, it’s got a very catchy tune and it’s got a good beat to it and I think it would be good to dance to. You do hum it afterwards if you know what I mean, it gets on you and it’s very catchy I think. There’s a lot of repetition, but then don’t you find there is a lot nowadays? I think it’ll come top ten. I don’t think it’ll come right at the top, but I think probably middling. I’d only ever heard the last one she’s done [she’s referring to ‘The Boy Does Nothing’ as it was her last big single, OK] and I wasn’t sure whether I liked that when I first heard it, I thought “Oh, that’s a bit weird”, because I didn’t think she’d sing that sort of song, but I mean that is the way she sings, but with this one I was probably more ready for it.
Her voice? You don’t really notice it, do you. It’s an awful lot of background. She doesn’t come through solo really. I think releasing a ballad next would work. Who would buy it? Probably people that dance, you know, go to, erm, discos and things. I think it would come over well there, because of the beat. So, they’re [the dancers] going to be really stirred up. I like that it’s so in your face. Even got Grandad in here listening to it. He liked it, because she is very sexy. Grandad likes that.
Better than Enrique? Ha, ha, nothing’s better than Enrique
Verdict: She’s probably not quite as good as Beyonce yet.