Fake Plastic Lesbian

You know when you’re in a club and you’re feeling a bit tipsy and all your inhabitions have gone and you just think ‘to hell with it, I’m going to be a lesbian, just to see what it’s like’? Come on, we’ve all been there. Someone who has most definitely been there is Katy Perry, America’s latest ‘controversial’ pop star who’s been getting the religious right hot under the overly starched collar. You see, Perry used to be deeply religious herself, went to church as a youngster and loved God with all her heart, but then she was corrupted by music and- for the benefit of her new single ‘I Kissed A Girl’- lesbianism. But not the whole shebang, oh no, we’re talking the kind of lesbianism that t.A.t.U made famous all those years ago, the kind where you pretend to be a lesbian and quite like the idea of it, but in reality you’re straight and you’ve got a boyfriend and the whole thing was a big ploy to get attention. I mean, it’s fun being a lesbian, but only for one night and only to impress your mates. Here’s the video (and doesn’t it look EXACTLY how you’d expect a lesbian club to look like…or rather, how a man would expect a lesbian club to look like):

The chorus runs thusly: “I kissed a girl and I liked it/ The taste of her cherry chapstick/ I kissed a girl just to try it/ I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it”. This song is currently number one in America.

Perry seems slightly obsessed with all things homosexual. Her first single, ‘Ur So Gay’ lead to accusations of homophobia, which is slightly harsh seeing as she just seems to be under the impression that if you’re a vegetarian who cares about the planet that makes you, like, oh my god, like, just too gay for words or whatever. No doubt she’ll be over this way very soon, expect The Daily Mail to hate her, Radio One to love her and us all to be sick of her by October 28th.

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