Pop music is at its greatest when you like a song despite yourself. Somehow these songs wiggle their way into your brain even though every ounce of you is screaming “REPENT, ALL IS FORGIVEN, A PLAGUE ON BOTH YOUR HOUSES”. Or something. Every once in a while a song comes along that is so inane, so brilliantly nonsensical that it somehow turns into the most poignant or passionate three minutes of music you’ve ever heard. With that in mind, ladies and gentleman, here’s Jordin Sparks & Chris Brown singing ‘No Air’:
You’ll notice that it’s not the official video but rather a live version from this years American Idol. This is because those youtube fascists have prevented the video from being embedded. Those pesky international conglomerates!
Now for those of you unfamiliar with either Jordin Sparks or Chris Brown, let me break it down for you; Sparks won American Idol in 2007 and has succeeded despite the fact that she’s pretty forgettable, whilst Chris Brown is the new Usher and has succeeded despite not actually being Usher. ‘No Air’ is currently riding high in the US and finally made it to the top 10 here this week. It displays everything I love/hate about American pop:
– It’s nonsense- “Tell me how I’m supposed to breathe with no air?” Er, quite frankly, you’re not. You will just die and that’s not very romantic is it?
– It’s over the top to the point of parody
– It sounds like it should be played in a mall
– It has all the emotional resonance of an episode of Hollyoaks
– It’s very catchy, to the point where I want to drill a hole in the side of my head like that guy in the film Pi just to make it stop
By next week I hope to be fully cured.