The Lost Art of Romance

Sometimes nothing can stand in the way of true love. There comes a point when the words expressed from one lonely heart to another are so potent and so beautiful that everyone just has to stand back and swoon. This rare moment has happened dear readers to none other then indie spunk Luke Pritchard from The Kooks. That’s right, the man who has no doubt been the soundtrack to numerous teenage snogs has declared, in the sweetest of terms, his yearning desire for actress/TV presenter/indie-pop play thing Carmen Electra. This is what our very own Romeo had to say:

“I’d like to fuck Carmen Electra”.

I know, I cried too. How that man manged to utter those words without breaking down is beyond all human capacity, the guy’s some kind of machine. He also went on to claim that the reason he could lucidly divulge his inner most feelings without fear of retribution was because of him being in a “big band”. I put this to the test:

Me: Hi, is that Carmen Electra’s agent?

Agent: It is, yes. Who’s calling?

Me: It’s Luke Pritchard.

Agent: Who?

Me: From The Kooks.

Agent: Who?

Me: Just tell Carmen I want to fuck her. Tell her I’m in a big band. She’ll understand.

Agent: Carmen’s actually got a boyfriend.

Me: Yeah, but is he in a big band? Did he once go out with Katie Melua? No, exactly. Tell Carmen to call me when she’s realised what I’m offering.

Agent: OK, will do.

Proof, if proof were needed that being in a third rate indie band and having rubbish hair means diddly squat to someone who’s been in Baywatch. Soz Luke.

Here’s Luke being ‘sexy’ and trying to play the guitar.

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